Hey BUST TARTS.
To achieve the best shitting experience. It all depends on the kind of person that you are. If you're a HARDCORE person. You must use all your might and exert full force upon shitting. That way, the shit will accelerate at full speed towards the water, resulting in a BIG SPLASH!!! WOOOO! Then, your butt cheeks will be soaking wet, causing you to feel cold and then SHIVER.
If you're a softcore person, you must slowly slowly let it out. Preventing the BIG SPLASH from owning your nuts.
That is all.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
INGFA Wilalilialapbananapapayanon aka WILLIAM MY BEST FRIEND (this is Paxton btw)
Hi. I'm back. Couldn't blog as i was busy getting As for all my tests. As you all would have known, Ingfa Wilalilialapbananapapayanon is now my new best friend. I love her surname and wouldn't mind changing mine to hers. Paxton Wilalilialapbananapapayanon Kwan Ee. FREAKING COOL. Wonder how you say that in Chinese... I END HERE! I THINK OF FUNNY STUFF TOMORROW THEN POST. YOU SHUT UP!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Blogging more usually than usual. Usually i don't blog this much so this is quite unusual.. and usually my titles aren't this long. so.. SHIT NO SPACE
My title very funny... MEH? Shiok is now pronounced as SHIORKzxxcz.
Onto my second ambition. This is a shared ambition between Brandon and I. As you already know, we are really into saving the environment and protecting Mother Nature. We have decided that Brandon was going to be a truck driver. As in like those people who drive trucks around. And I being the stronger and manlier guy would cling onto the back of the truck and pick up any form of litter i find. So here's how i picture a typical day of us at work.
Brandon and I head to PRATA HOUSE to have some prata in the morning.
Some curry got onto our face.
We order one more egg prata each to wipe the curry off our faces.
We then head for the extremely clean toilet to shit together in different cubicles as to make ourselves as light as possible thus not slowing the truck down.
We then order one more onion prata each to wipe our backside!!! HEHEHE so funny!
We literally and not metaphorically hop onto the truck hoping to attract some chics seeing us hop as hopping onto the truck's really cool.
We drive around and see some spit on the floor.
I literally jump and do a forward roll and whipped out a cheese prata from my butt and wipe the saliva up.
Making the floor shiny and sparkling clean!
We decide to head for MEH NOR NER for lunch.
We ordered 2 sets of Happy Meals as we wanted to be happy.
We then used the toy to wipe our mouth and hands.
We left meh nor ner and went to continue searching for more litter.
We LEAPED onto the truck as we felt pretty gay and wanted to show that we were feeling gay.
I saw a tissue paper on the floor and leaped off the truck and grabbed it using my butt cheeks. HAHAHA SO CHEEKY OF ME!
To end the day off, Brandon and I decided to watch the sunset.
We started to stare at the sun from 4pm to 8pm.
It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen.
We then went home but not before I crack Brandon's nuts. As in the Camel nuts he bought.
Onto my second ambition. This is a shared ambition between Brandon and I. As you already know, we are really into saving the environment and protecting Mother Nature. We have decided that Brandon was going to be a truck driver. As in like those people who drive trucks around. And I being the stronger and manlier guy would cling onto the back of the truck and pick up any form of litter i find. So here's how i picture a typical day of us at work.
Brandon and I head to PRATA HOUSE to have some prata in the morning.
Some curry got onto our face.
We order one more egg prata each to wipe the curry off our faces.
We then head for the extremely clean toilet to shit together in different cubicles as to make ourselves as light as possible thus not slowing the truck down.
We then order one more onion prata each to wipe our backside!!! HEHEHE so funny!
We literally and not metaphorically hop onto the truck hoping to attract some chics seeing us hop as hopping onto the truck's really cool.
We drive around and see some spit on the floor.
I literally jump and do a forward roll and whipped out a cheese prata from my butt and wipe the saliva up.
Making the floor shiny and sparkling clean!
We decide to head for MEH NOR NER for lunch.
We ordered 2 sets of Happy Meals as we wanted to be happy.
We then used the toy to wipe our mouth and hands.
We left meh nor ner and went to continue searching for more litter.
We LEAPED onto the truck as we felt pretty gay and wanted to show that we were feeling gay.
I saw a tissue paper on the floor and leaped off the truck and grabbed it using my butt cheeks. HAHAHA SO CHEEKY OF ME!
To end the day off, Brandon and I decided to watch the sunset.
We started to stare at the sun from 4pm to 8pm.
It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen.
We then went home but not before I crack Brandon's nuts. As in the Camel nuts he bought.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Daily Dose of Crap. Ok Fine Monthly.
Cool ways to spell some words:
Very --> Belly ; as in belly belly big belly
Tummyache --> Tummy Egg
Weird --> Wierd
Dave --> David
Curry --> Khali
Shiok --> Shiokzxzxczxczxc
That's all i got.. I was almost late for school this morning as I felt the extreme urge to answer nature's call (It was number 2). After answering her call, i felt extremely shiokzxzxzxczasczx. Felt much lighter than before. It was a feeling i never felt before, i felt as if i could fly! I started to flap my arms, my legs started to leave the ground, i flapped my arms faster and faster and decided to stop jumping. I realised i could almost fly, i had finally unlocked the secret to flying! It had always been my dream to fly. When i leave Zhonghua, i hope to be able to fly. That is the main reason why i go to school. Once i had a dream that i could fly. I fly high into the sky, i flew beside my bird friends. We went to have a tea party and then we had a pillow fight in our undergarments. It was really fun until when i started to fall to the ground. I began spiraling down towards the ground. I feel to the ground and WOKE UP in my bedroom. I realised that IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! I looked out the window and saw a crow in the night winking to me. I realised that it was a sign that I WAS BORN TO FLY. RAWR!!!
Thank you for reading. I hope i would be able to fulfill my wish. Otherwise i would have to fulfill my other wish. Which i would be discussing about in my next post. So.. stay tuned.
Chirp Chirp.
Very --> Belly ; as in belly belly big belly
Tummyache --> Tummy Egg
Weird --> Wierd
Dave --> David
Curry --> Khali
Shiok --> Shiokzxzxczxczxc
That's all i got.. I was almost late for school this morning as I felt the extreme urge to answer nature's call (It was number 2). After answering her call, i felt extremely shiokzxzxzxczasczx. Felt much lighter than before. It was a feeling i never felt before, i felt as if i could fly! I started to flap my arms, my legs started to leave the ground, i flapped my arms faster and faster and decided to stop jumping. I realised i could almost fly, i had finally unlocked the secret to flying! It had always been my dream to fly. When i leave Zhonghua, i hope to be able to fly. That is the main reason why i go to school. Once i had a dream that i could fly. I fly high into the sky, i flew beside my bird friends. We went to have a tea party and then we had a pillow fight in our undergarments. It was really fun until when i started to fall to the ground. I began spiraling down towards the ground. I feel to the ground and WOKE UP in my bedroom. I realised that IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! I looked out the window and saw a crow in the night winking to me. I realised that it was a sign that I WAS BORN TO FLY. RAWR!!!
Thank you for reading. I hope i would be able to fulfill my wish. Otherwise i would have to fulfill my other wish. Which i would be discussing about in my next post. So.. stay tuned.
Chirp Chirp.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
My Dota Experience.
Mode: -apem
Game Name : Prak
Players: SibeiLamby, Munchi, Monk_Key, Fabl3d, Cheese_Fries, StarOfLight, ClementLuvJas, Chidoriz and PatternMelon.
Game starting in 5...
Game starting in 4...
Game starting in 3...
Game starting in 2...
Game starting in 1...
The game had started. I was well prepared for my enemies. I randomed and got a weird hero. I was pissed off but i decided to swap with Edgar for the ruthless BLOODSEEKER. I added bloodbath as i thought it would be the most appropriate skill for farming. The call of the Battle Horns warned me that the battle was about to begin. I proceeded with Naga Siren to the top lane to face my almighty enemy, Silencer. It was rather hard for us to farm as we were both melee heroes and silencer was a ranged hero But we persevered and managed to farm till level 6 without being killed by him. When i reached level 6 i knew that i could kill him with my deadly Rupture. He unknowingly ventured too far into the top lane. I ran towards him and ruptured him. He knew he was dead. He tried to run, only to find he was taking more damage. His heath points went below 40% and that activated Strygwyr's Thirst. I had 33% extra movement speed with helped me catch up with him easily. I casted Bloodrage on myself which gave me 20% extra damage. The Naga Siren then easily finished him with a 1.5x Critical Strike. That gave me much experience thus allowing me to level up. I free farmed for a while as he had to respawn.
30Seconds later, he arrived with his boots of speed which made me rather afraid as he could run much faster than i could. The Naga and I farmed for a while. Unfortunately, the fucker at the bottom lane did not report that Phantom Lancer was missing. He dopel walked and launched a Spirit Lance at me. It slowed me down and made me an easy target to Silencer's Gaive Of Wisdom. I fell to the merciless hands of Silencer and caused him to gain 1 Intelligence Point. The Naga Siren died in an attempt to save me. After respawning, i went to the top lane again to farm but this time, i faced the deadly Phantom Lancer that caused me to lose gold. I felt extreme hatred for him. I ran towards him and the Naga Siren ensnared him, making him unable to run, i then ruptured him. He was left with 2 choices, to run to his death or stay and let me kill him. He choose to dopel walk. Only to reveal himself to my Strygwry's Thirst. He died a horrible death.
I then farmed Radiance, The Butterfly and Assault de Cuirass. I killed 3 heroes and was on a Killing Spree. But that wasn't enough, i then killed 4 and was Dominating. I felt more confident and then killed 1 more, only to grant myself a Mega Kill. Followed by being Unstoppable and then Wicked Sick. I then attained a Monster Kill!!! Then i was Godlike! And the final one, Beyond Godlike or better known as HOLY SHIT!!! My despicable enemies got 2 guinsoos. Which was a low down despicable thing to do. They easily hexed me for 6 seconds. Rendering me helpless to their attacks and ended my streak, they then proceeded to kill The Frozen Throne which made me extremely mad. I could have pwned all of their heads but i chose to farm. From then on, i decided to end the game if i could. Bloody CCBS who got guinsoo.
The Sentinels have won. Thank you for playing Dota. Check out the website at www.dota-allstars.com
Game Name : Prak
Players: SibeiLamby, Munchi, Monk_Key, Fabl3d, Cheese_Fries, StarOfLight, ClementLuvJas, Chidoriz and PatternMelon.
Game starting in 5...
Game starting in 4...
Game starting in 3...
Game starting in 2...
Game starting in 1...
The game had started. I was well prepared for my enemies. I randomed and got a weird hero. I was pissed off but i decided to swap with Edgar for the ruthless BLOODSEEKER. I added bloodbath as i thought it would be the most appropriate skill for farming. The call of the Battle Horns warned me that the battle was about to begin. I proceeded with Naga Siren to the top lane to face my almighty enemy, Silencer. It was rather hard for us to farm as we were both melee heroes and silencer was a ranged hero But we persevered and managed to farm till level 6 without being killed by him. When i reached level 6 i knew that i could kill him with my deadly Rupture. He unknowingly ventured too far into the top lane. I ran towards him and ruptured him. He knew he was dead. He tried to run, only to find he was taking more damage. His heath points went below 40% and that activated Strygwyr's Thirst. I had 33% extra movement speed with helped me catch up with him easily. I casted Bloodrage on myself which gave me 20% extra damage. The Naga Siren then easily finished him with a 1.5x Critical Strike. That gave me much experience thus allowing me to level up. I free farmed for a while as he had to respawn.
30Seconds later, he arrived with his boots of speed which made me rather afraid as he could run much faster than i could. The Naga and I farmed for a while. Unfortunately, the fucker at the bottom lane did not report that Phantom Lancer was missing. He dopel walked and launched a Spirit Lance at me. It slowed me down and made me an easy target to Silencer's Gaive Of Wisdom. I fell to the merciless hands of Silencer and caused him to gain 1 Intelligence Point. The Naga Siren died in an attempt to save me. After respawning, i went to the top lane again to farm but this time, i faced the deadly Phantom Lancer that caused me to lose gold. I felt extreme hatred for him. I ran towards him and the Naga Siren ensnared him, making him unable to run, i then ruptured him. He was left with 2 choices, to run to his death or stay and let me kill him. He choose to dopel walk. Only to reveal himself to my Strygwry's Thirst. He died a horrible death.
I then farmed Radiance, The Butterfly and Assault de Cuirass. I killed 3 heroes and was on a Killing Spree. But that wasn't enough, i then killed 4 and was Dominating. I felt more confident and then killed 1 more, only to grant myself a Mega Kill. Followed by being Unstoppable and then Wicked Sick. I then attained a Monster Kill!!! Then i was Godlike! And the final one, Beyond Godlike or better known as HOLY SHIT!!! My despicable enemies got 2 guinsoos. Which was a low down despicable thing to do. They easily hexed me for 6 seconds. Rendering me helpless to their attacks and ended my streak, they then proceeded to kill The Frozen Throne which made me extremely mad. I could have pwned all of their heads but i chose to farm. From then on, i decided to end the game if i could. Bloody CCBS who got guinsoo.
The Sentinels have won. Thank you for playing Dota. Check out the website at www.dota-allstars.com
Friday, September 14, 2007
Paxton's Day
Hi. I'm back. And if your reading this. Please tag. Anything will do, even a simple hello will do. Ok, back to my post. Today morning, same old crap. Now i shall start the segment of the crapping section. On the last day of the Seventh Month, i heard an incredibly hilarious conversation between Helin (Curlin) and Alfie. Here's how it went.
Alfie: Helin want go swimming?
Helin: Cannot la, today last day of Seventh Month.
Alfie: Last day so what?
Helin: All the fierce fierce ghost come out on the last day of the Seventh Month.
Alfie: How you know?!
Helin: My mother tell me one!
Alfie: Then why on last day come out not first day come out?!
Helin: I don't know! My mother tell me one!
It was an extremely stupid conversation.
Ok off to the next part.
Just now, when i was making some brown mini papayas (faeces), i was exerting my full force as the papayas were extremely stubborn when my younger brother suddenly opened the door and shouted "BOO!" I was shocked! My papayas were halfway out and they were sucked back in! I felt extremely irritated as I had spent much time getting it halfway out. After i flushed away the papayas. I came here to blog. After cleaning my rear end and washing my hands.
Alfie: Helin want go swimming?
Helin: Cannot la, today last day of Seventh Month.
Alfie: Last day so what?
Helin: All the fierce fierce ghost come out on the last day of the Seventh Month.
Alfie: How you know?!
Helin: My mother tell me one!
Alfie: Then why on last day come out not first day come out?!
Helin: I don't know! My mother tell me one!
It was an extremely stupid conversation.
Ok off to the next part.
Just now, when i was making some brown mini papayas (faeces), i was exerting my full force as the papayas were extremely stubborn when my younger brother suddenly opened the door and shouted "BOO!" I was shocked! My papayas were halfway out and they were sucked back in! I felt extremely irritated as I had spent much time getting it halfway out. After i flushed away the papayas. I came here to blog. After cleaning my rear end and washing my hands.
Brandon
I'm finally back after almost being eaten by Edgar. I didnt realized how appetizing i actually was. Today was a long fine but not so fine day. Mr Low was crapping away as usual. Madam Liang still as puffy as ever and NPCC still as boring as usual. Madam Liang resembles Mrs Puff from Sponge Bob Square Pants perfectly, only bitchier. Okay, i got this really small and cool scar tattooed on my forehead on Wednesday. It was actually just a simple story of two guys trying to power a header on the ball. One guy jumps, the other jumps too. The shorter guy instead of heading the ball, headbutts the bigger, macho guy! Both guy falls to the ground and the macho one complains that his front teeth hurts. Haha, i doubt you guys will understand so never mind! I think i shall go focus on my songs right now. By the way, Paxton, or rather Pattern is gay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)