Brandon's Blog Is Paxton's Blog Which Is Also Jia Jun's Blog Which Is Owned By Kwan Ee

Paxton's guide to achieving the best shitting experience.

2008-06-17T19:30:00.002+08:00

Hey BUST TARTS.

To achieve the best shitting experience. It all depends on the kind of person that you are. If you're a HARDCORE person. You must use all your might and exert full force upon shitting. That way, the shit will accelerate at full speed towards the water, resulting in a BIG SPLASH!!! WOOOO! Then, your butt cheeks will be soaking wet, causing you to feel cold and then SHIVER.

If you're a softcore person, you must slowly slowly let it out. Preventing the BIG SPLASH from owning your nuts.

That is all.

INGFA Wilalilialapbananapapayanon aka WILLIAM MY BEST FRIEND (this is Paxton btw)

2008-04-23T21:20:00.006+08:00

Hi. I'm back. Couldn't blog as i was busy getting As for all my tests. As you all would have known, Ingfa Wilalilialapbananapapayanon is now my new best friend. I love her surname and wouldn't mind changing mine to hers. Paxton Wilalilialapbananapapayanon Kwan Ee. FREAKING COOL. Wonder how you say that in Chinese... I END HERE! I THINK OF FUNNY STUFF TOMORROW THEN POST. YOU SHUT UP!

Blogging more usually than usual. Usually i don't blog this much so this is quite unusual.. and usually my titles aren't this long. so.. SHIT NO SPACE

2008-01-17T21:50:00.000+08:00

My title very funny... MEH? Shiok is now pronounced as SHIORKzxxcz.

Onto my second ambition. This is a shared ambition between Brandon and I. As you already know, we are really into saving the environment and protecting Mother Nature. We have decided that Brandon was going to be a truck driver. As in like those people who drive trucks around. And I being the stronger and manlier guy would cling onto the back of the truck and pick up any form of litter i find. So here's how i picture a typical day of us at work.

Brandon and I head to PRATA HOUSE to have some prata in the morning.
Some curry got onto our face.
We order one more egg prata each to wipe the curry off our faces.
We then head for the extremely clean toilet to shit together in different cubicles as to make ourselves as light as possible thus not slowing the truck down.
We then order one more onion prata each to wipe our backside!!! HEHEHE so funny!
We literally and not metaphorically hop onto the truck hoping to attract some chics seeing us hop as hopping onto the truck's really cool.
We drive around and see some spit on the floor.
I literally jump and do a forward roll and whipped out a cheese prata from my butt and wipe the saliva up.
Making the floor shiny and sparkling clean!

We decide to head for MEH NOR NER for lunch.
We ordered 2 sets of Happy Meals as we wanted to be happy.
We then used the toy to wipe our mouth and hands.
We left meh nor ner and went to continue searching for more litter.
We LEAPED onto the truck as we felt pretty gay and wanted to show that we were feeling gay.
I saw a tissue paper on the floor and leaped off the truck and grabbed it using my butt cheeks. HAHAHA SO CHEEKY OF ME!

To end the day off, Brandon and I decided to watch the sunset.
We started to stare at the sun from 4pm to 8pm.
It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen.
We then went home but not before I crack Brandon's nuts. As in the Camel nuts he bought.

Daily Dose of Crap. Ok Fine Monthly.

2008-01-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

Cool ways to spell some words:
Very --> Belly ; as in belly belly big belly
Tummyache --> Tummy Egg
Weird --> Wierd
Dave --> David
Curry --> Khali
Shiok --> Shiokzxzxczxczxc

That's all i got.. I was almost late for school this morning as I felt the extreme urge to answer nature's call (It was number 2). After answering her call, i felt extremely shiokzxzxzxczasczx. Felt much lighter than before. It was a feeling i never felt before, i felt as if i could fly! I started to flap my arms, my legs started to leave the ground, i flapped my arms faster and faster and decided to stop jumping. I realised i could almost fly, i had finally unlocked the secret to flying! It had always been my dream to fly. When i leave Zhonghua, i hope to be able to fly. That is the main reason why i go to school. Once i had a dream that i could fly. I fly high into the sky, i flew beside my bird friends. We went to have a tea party and then we had a pillow fight in our undergarments. It was really fun until when i started to fall to the ground. I began spiraling down towards the ground. I feel to the ground and WOKE UP in my bedroom. I realised that IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! I looked out the window and saw a crow in the night winking to me. I realised that it was a sign that I WAS BORN TO FLY. RAWR!!!

Thank you for reading. I hope i would be able to fulfill my wish. Otherwise i would have to fulfill my other wish. Which i would be discussing about in my next post. So.. stay tuned.
Chirp Chirp.

My Dota Experience.

2007-11-20T00:41:00.000+08:00

Mode: -apem
Game Name : Prak
Players: SibeiLamby, Munchi, Monk_Key, Fabl3d, Cheese_Fries, StarOfLight, ClementLuvJas, Chidoriz and PatternMelon.

Game starting in 5...
Game starting in 4...
Game starting in 3...
Game starting in 2...
Game starting in 1...

The game had started. I was well prepared for my enemies. I randomed and got a weird hero. I was pissed off but i decided to swap with Edgar for the ruthless BLOODSEEKER. I added bloodbath as i thought it would be the most appropriate skill for farming. The call of the Battle Horns warned me that the battle was about to begin. I proceeded with Naga Siren to the top lane to face my almighty enemy, Silencer. It was rather hard for us to farm as we were both melee heroes and silencer was a ranged hero But we persevered and managed to farm till level 6 without being killed by him. When i reached level 6 i knew that i could kill him with my deadly Rupture. He unknowingly ventured too far into the top lane. I ran towards him and ruptured him. He knew he was dead. He tried to run, only to find he was taking more damage. His heath points went below 40% and that activated Strygwyr's Thirst. I had 33% extra movement speed with helped me catch up with him easily. I casted Bloodrage on myself which gave me 20% extra damage. The Naga Siren then easily finished him with a 1.5x Critical Strike. That gave me much experience thus allowing me to level up. I free farmed for a while as he had to respawn.

30Seconds later, he arrived with his boots of speed which made me rather afraid as he could run much faster than i could. The Naga and I farmed for a while. Unfortunately, the fucker at the bottom lane did not report that Phantom Lancer was missing. He dopel walked and launched a Spirit Lance at me. It slowed me down and made me an easy target to Silencer's Gaive Of Wisdom. I fell to the merciless hands of Silencer and caused him to gain 1 Intelligence Point. The Naga Siren died in an attempt to save me. After respawning, i went to the top lane again to farm but this time, i faced the deadly Phantom Lancer that caused me to lose gold. I felt extreme hatred for him. I ran towards him and the Naga Siren ensnared him, making him unable to run, i then ruptured him. He was left with 2 choices, to run to his death or stay and let me kill him. He choose to dopel walk. Only to reveal himself to my Strygwry's Thirst. He died a horrible death.

I then farmed Radiance, The Butterfly and Assault de Cuirass. I killed 3 heroes and was on a Killing Spree. But that wasn't enough, i then killed 4 and was Dominating. I felt more confident and then killed 1 more, only to grant myself a Mega Kill. Followed by being Unstoppable and then Wicked Sick. I then attained a Monster Kill!!! Then i was Godlike! And the final one, Beyond Godlike or better known as HOLY SHIT!!! My despicable enemies got 2 guinsoos. Which was a low down despicable thing to do. They easily hexed me for 6 seconds. Rendering me helpless to their attacks and ended my streak, they then proceeded to kill The Frozen Throne which made me extremely mad. I could have pwned all of their heads but i chose to farm. From then on, i decided to end the game if i could. Bloody CCBS who got guinsoo.

The Sentinels have won. Thank you for playing Dota. Check out the website at www.dota-allstars.com

Paxton's Day

2007-09-14T21:52:00.001+08:00

Hi. I'm back. And if your reading this. Please tag. Anything will do, even a simple hello will do. Ok, back to my post. Today morning, same old crap. Now i shall start the segment of the crapping section. On the last day of the Seventh Month, i heard an incredibly hilarious conversation between Helin (Curlin) and Alfie. Here's how it went.

Alfie: Helin want go swimming?

Helin: Cannot la, today last day of Seventh Month.

Alfie: Last day so what?

Helin: All the fierce fierce ghost come out on the last day of the Seventh Month.

Alfie: How you know?!

Helin: My mother tell me one!

Alfie: Then why on last day come out not first day come out?!

Helin: I don't know! My mother tell me one!

It was an extremely stupid conversation.

Ok off to the next part.
Just now, when i was making some brown mini papayas (faeces), i was exerting my full force as the papayas were extremely stubborn when my younger brother suddenly opened the door and shouted "BOO!" I was shocked! My papayas were halfway out and they were sucked back in! I felt extremely irritated as I had spent much time getting it halfway out. After i flushed away the papayas. I came here to blog. After cleaning my rear end and washing my hands.

Brandon

2007-09-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back after almost being eaten by Edgar. I didnt realized how appetizing i actually was. Today was a long fine but not so fine day. Mr Low was crapping away as usual. Madam Liang still as puffy as ever and NPCC still as boring as usual. Madam Liang resembles Mrs Puff from Sponge Bob Square Pants perfectly, only bitchier. Okay, i got this really small and cool scar tattooed on my forehead on Wednesday. It was actually just a simple story of two guys trying to power a header on the ball. One guy jumps, the other jumps too. The shorter guy instead of heading the ball, headbutts the bigger, macho guy! Both guy falls to the ground and the macho one complains that his front teeth hurts. Haha, i doubt you guys will understand so never mind! I think i shall go focus on my songs right now. By the way, Paxton, or rather Pattern is gay.

Paxton's Vomit Day & Paxton's Day at Home

2007-09-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

11th September

I went to school in the morning by bus. In the bus, i was thinking to myself. Oh shit its raining. I then sang "Rain rain go away come again another day" in the bus loudly. To my dismay, the rain continued to pour. But luckily my lucky star MADAM LAO aka. Madonna was waiting at the bus stop with some umbrellas. She lent us some umbrellas and we crossed the road safely without getting wet. Then lessons all the way. After school we went to play soccer. I didn't feel good. I felt like vomiting. I also felt very short of breath. When i got home. After making some Cute Brown Mini Papayas, i vomited the chicken rice out. When i vomited i couldn't breathe and my stomach muscles tightened a lot. I was petrified that i might die. Luckily, i didn't.

12th September

Today was just plain boring.

Brandons very first day at school, not really lar

2007-09-10T22:01:00.000+08:00

Todays the beginning of a pretty brand new chapter of my very very quite interesting papaya-like life. I woke up at 3am. Then i went back to sleep again before waking up at 6.10am. Yeah, followed by the basic crap i do every morning. Went to school feeling so fucked, because i discovered that the first ever testimonial i got was actually... from myself! I WAS THE FIRST EVER PERSON WHO POSTED ON MY OWN FRIENDSTER, I FELT SO STUPID. I had fish ball noodle for recess. Speaking of fishball noodle, i realized that i have not paid for my Fishball noodles a few days back. The fishball auntie was very bad as she gave me 3 fishballs when i was expecting only one fish ball. The name Fishball Noodle suggest one fish ball only. Not Fishballs noodle. She gave me the hastle of having to eat the extra two fishball which was very humiliating. After school, was lectured by maureen wong outside the staff room.
This was how it went:
MW: what did you tell me during my lesson?
Me: something we go see miss nai
MW: I am a woman of my words. I say i will check with miss nai means i will check with miss nai, where did you go before my lesson?
Me: the toilet
MW: why? must put make up arh?
Me: ya, something like that.
MW: why? want to impress girls is it?
Me: ya
MW: Tell me which girl from the class you want to impress, tell me larh!
Me: er, all the girls in the class

Then she told me lots of irrelevant crap which was of cause, crappy. Then she went to tell some marvelous story to ky. Wow, no wonder she has such a huge belly. A belly belly big belly. Tell too much story till the belly so big.Then we went to play soccer. Then we went home. I watched some documentary about Osama Bin Larden. I feel that he should try shaving off his beard. it'll make him seem less menacing and also less hairy.

Paxton Is Sick

2007-09-10T21:03:00.001+08:00

Today was the 1st day of Term 4. I was extremely unexcited to go back to school. When i walked into the class. I saw Louis on my seat. I felt elated as he had helped to warm my seat for me so my ass would not feel cold. Thanks Louis. I then realised there was literature homework but i did not have enough time to complete it so i just did nothing about it. I then went down for assembly. Then it was time for literature. I did not do my homework so i have to do it 3 times. I feel miserable as i felt that it was unreasonable. And, i'll tell you why. You see. Does it make sense to do homework three times? It doesn't! If you do it one time, you will feel contented and you would even have time to eat some stupidly named delicacies. An example would be Buddha Jumps Over The Wall. Its some Chinese soup. But it's name is retarded! Wtf sia Buddha Jumps Over The Wall. On the other hand. If you do your homework three times. You would only have time to drink water. Which is not enough. Therefore, i conclude that Miss Thor wants to starve us. How cruel is that. We then had science which was very boring. We then went down for recess where Brandon and i talked about the word Keong. We were figuring out how to pronounce the word "Keong" to make it sound good. We laughed a lot. We then had boring lessons. I then felt extremely hot on the inside. I then felt cold when the fan blew at me. I felt hot and cold at the same time and i had a headache. I concluded that i had fell sick. We then went for our music lesson. Kai Yuan switched off the lights and then he went to apologise to Mrs Wong. After that was just boring stuff. I then decided to go home and not for gym as i was sick. I then slept for two hours as i felt awfully lethargic. I then watched some TV and took some pills. And then i went to take a bath. I saw a brown miniature papaya in the toilet bowl. It looked exceedingly cute. It was actually my faeces. I then watched more TV before deciding to come here to post. I still must say, the miniature brown papaya smelled terrible. I apparently love Chien Nie for helping me type the Night Shift Worker out as i lost it. And she apparently loves me for loving her. Thank You Belly Much.

Brandon

2007-09-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

Today, i woke up at 1pm. Then i went to have chicken rice for lunch. Not Chicken. Not Rice. But Chicken Rice. After lunch, i bought myself a jelly. Mango jelly, which tasted wonderful. Much better than the last meal i cooked during home econs. I cant exactly rmb what it was but it certainly tasted much better i think. After lunch, i went to read the newspaper. Nude pictures of some High School Musical. A pity the censored some parts. Then i went to eat some cookie ice cream which also tasted much better than the previous home econs meal. Then i went to have dinner with some relatives at Lao Di Fang. The place is called Lao Di Fang because it is quite Lao but not very Lao if not they will call it Hen Lao Di Fang so it is quite Lao, i think. Dinner was kinda delicious. Nice food. Nice table, actually not very nice. Nice chair, my chair had holes. Good! So that my ass can breathe better. How thoughtful can the shopkeeper get? I went to my aunty's home at about 8 something. Then i sneaked off with my uncles to Net Force Gaming to play lan. We played till 12.45am. I owned with Netherdrake and blah blah blah. Then during the game. I had this very urgent urge to pee. But i was afraid that a papaya would bite me when i go to the toilet, not because i did not want to get away from my computer. After the game, i went to the toilet and to my pleasant surprise, no papaya bit me or Rikimaru blink striking me and back stabbing me. I was absolutely relieved as i relieved myself. Then i walked home on my own as the bus services had ended because... Shut up lar, dun ask why. how would i know. I walked from Net Force which was somewhere around Kovan back to my home, which was in Hougang. It was the equivalent of like walking from Kovan to Hougang. Serious! It was like 3bus stop away. While walking, it was dark... creepy... scary... and quite dark.I felt like somebody was watching me. I was afraid that something disastrous might happen. Then i heard a high pitched male voice moaning something like" Jenny... Jenny..." It was the seventh month and i was afraid. I ran as fast as i could but the creepy voice still remained by my ears. I could not take it so i removed my ear piece from my ears and concluded that it was actually just The Click Five singing "Jenny" on my iPod Shuffle. Then i reached home at 1Something AM. Went to have a quick shower before playing somemore Dota at home before posting. I have this kukubelly urge to play some soccer. Until then, see you guys when i see you guys.

Paxton's Day at LAN!

2007-09-07T21:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 9am and got very excited to go to lan with Brandon, Edgar and Zhen Wei. But first i went to own some bitches in Rakion. With my superb achery skills. I killed many Magicians, Ninjas, Blacksmiths, Warriors and other Archers. Unfortunately, i got too good that they kicked my out of the game. I was LOST AND DEPRESSED as i could not go into Chaos Mode. I then met Edgar at Serangoon Interchange where we went to Venus! I hopped onto Edgar and he jumped super high into Venus! Nah we just took 101 to Upper Serangoon Road where theres a Lan shop called Venus. We then played some 1v1 at CounterStrike. Sadly, i got pwned by Edgar The Ghey Bitch. We then went to play some friend Dota with some other people. I randomed and got Lord Of Aasdjkf (shit i dunno how spell. Lets just call it LOA) We lost. We then had a rematched and i used Lesale Deathbringer aka. Venomancer. We pwned the shit out of those bitches. Wow this is a really boring and stupid and unhumourous joke. I shall talk some crap to entertain you guys.

Ok did you ever dream about being able to fly? I know i have! I dreamt that i could fly. I flew up high into the sky! I had to flap my arms to fly. Suddenly i couldn't fly!!! I fell to the ground. I had the adrenaline rush going through my body. I felt extremely afraid i would die. I then woke up in my bed. I was glad it was just a dream. I then went to the kitchen to grab some durians, papaya, rambutan and bananas as i felt a craving for stupid named fruits. The End.

Paxton's EXTREMELY SMELLY Day.

2007-09-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Today was an extremely smelly day. I kept farting. My fart seriously stinks. It must be the damned tom yam soup that i drank yesterday. Dammit! I just farted only to smelly my own fart again. Today morning i woke up at 9am. The early BIRD catches the worms. I then watched Pirates of the Carribean on my computer. Strangely, i have never watched any of the movies before. I watched The Black Pearl and Dead Man's Chest. It was not bad. Basic Instinct was still better as it had more sex. Pirates doesn't even have sex. I then did nothing else. It was a boring and lonely day. I felt extremely lonely today. Like a last Khali Puff being left at an Old Chang Kee store after having its family taken away by those uncaring people who bought 99Khali Puffs when the stall had made 100Khali Puffs. I felt like that lonely Khali Puff. Lonely, alone and feeling very khali-ish. Thanks for reading my crap. Tag Please.

Brandon's day at the park

2007-09-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

I am listening to a song titled The End Of Nothing by Funeral for a Friend right now. Very solid. Belly Belly nice. I woke up at 2pm this afternoon. It wasnt the ringing of my alarm clock which woke me up. But the screaming of"BRAND BRAND Arh, JI DIAN LE? HAI BU YAO QI LAI ARH!?" from my lovely grandmother. I went to Hougang mall to have lunch. I was extremely upset because lunch burned a hole in my pocket ,very expensive. Then the pants i was wearing had only one pocket and it was loose. Thankfully no paxton or alvin was there to pull it down. Then i went to a friends place to play some Dota. I didnt win a single game. Felt so fucked. Then i went to have dinner at a kopitiam. I ordered fish ball noodle while having only $1.10 with me. I realised that only after ordering it. Then i told the uncle i dun want the noodle anymore. But the uncle insisted that i pay him the money some other time. The uncle was really kind. I'll pay the uncle some other time. I learnt something very valuable from this; Never order Fishball noodle if you've got lesser than 3 dollars with you. Then on msn, paxton told me that he could not stop farting which was irrelevant to anything but himself farting. Basically, nothing interesting happened at all today.Really boring papaya-like day.

Paxton

2007-09-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

A Fucked up day.
Morning 12am. Watched Basic Instinct on demand TV. It was a good show with lots of sex. After watching i went to bed with much images racing through my head. It didn't feel right. I was then woke up at 8am by my maid so i slept some more. I slept for quite awhile that i lost track of time then i thought it was like 10am so i JUMPED out of bed. I saw the clock. IT WAS ONLY 8.30AM. I was lost and depressed as i had already jumped out of bed and could not sleep anymore. Fuck it. I then went to play some Rakion. I died many times so i felt angrier. I then decided to head to Peninsula Plaza (Brandon its spelt peniNsula not penisula) In the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) i was listening to a song on my mp3 when i found out i was in the same Mass Rapid Transit as Le Jun as i had received an SMS (which stands for stir my shit) from her. I looked around and around again and could not find her. I met up with her in the MRT station only to wait 15mins for Brandon(the big momma) and ZP (Zuper Paxton). We then walked to Peninsula Plaza to find some shirts. But the stupid shop only sold ugly shirts and the good shop had not opened yet. So we went to Burger King to buy some burgers. ZP the milk lover bought a i-scream and a Lo-Fat, Hi-Cal, Fresh, Pasturised and Homogenised Milk at 11am in the morning he's probably on his toilet bowl now regretting what he had done. While eating my Burger King meal we saw 2 pigeons. One of the pigeon's chest was like very big and the other had only 1 leg. We then started feeding those birds because we felt like it. I then gave brandon a Chao Ta Prata. He felt so happy. Oh yeah we saw a fucking cool cap. It said "The Spirit Is Willing. But The Flesh Is Weak" It simply means The guy's soul is willing to have sex but his "flesh" is weak. We then went to IRC to play some Dota. Me and ZP against Brandon. No one won. Brandon talk crap. He didn't win a single round. He only had the most kills. Le Jun went on to play AuditionSEA. I warned her that the computer might have a keylogger but she went ahead anyway. After enjoying Dota. We went onto buy our shirts. I bought a Avenged Sevenfold shirt and ZP bought a Alesana and a Avenged Sevenfold shirt. We then went to take the Mass Rapid Transit again to Hougang Mall where we bought materials to make our lantern and where we had our lunch. Where i got the news. It made me feel so fucked. Especially because it was during my lunch so i couldn't enjoy my lunch. We then went to Shernise's house to do our lantern project. We made a very cool heart shaped lantern. Sian i very lazy post. i shall end here as im too lazy to continue. Bye Bird Lovers

Brandon's lalalal day

2007-09-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

The whole bed was vibrating like David Blaine after he got Frozen In Time. Was it an earthquake? No, it was just my stupid hand phone's alarm clock ringing. Woke up at 9am only to find myself absolutely tired. I had slept at 3sumthing the previous night because i couldnt stop thinking of which Pokemon i would like to be if i could possibly be. I thought of Ratata and Pigeot because both had stupid but slightly adorable names. I went to the toilet to blah blah blah then went to meet up Paxton(the gay gay guy), Lejun and Zp(a multipurpose mobile toy). We met up at city hall mrt station before proceeding to to penisular plaza(still not sure if its spelt this way). We shopped around for cool T shirts, but we didnt buy anything because the shirts didnt looked nice. We went to eat at Burger King. I ordered a meal which i did not really like, i felt cheated, lost,sad and not so happy. Then while i was enjoying my wonderful meal which made me feel cheated, lost, sad and not so happy, then alot of pigeons flew in. Actually about 3 only. Then i caught a glimpse of a pigeon without a feet. It was not exactly great to see the pigeon like that. I could only conclude that Chien Nie, Geraldine and Bianca had fed that particular too much french fries two days before! I guess the pigeon got too fat after eating too much fries and couldnt balance itself while in flight then it knocked into some lamp post or helicopter or something. I then threw a piece of french fry at the pigeon's body, yes the pigeons body. IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL, I ONLY MEANT TO FEED IT. I am sorry pigeon for hurting you. But i guess it didnt hurt much too, haha. Then we went to this IRC room to play Dota for an hour. I'm very happy that i owned pax's and zp's backside. Lejun was playing Auditions which was not fun to me. She shud have played Dota! Then, we went back to penisular shopping mall to shop for T shirts. Pax and Zp then bought some clothes because they looked better after then they were 2hours before. I particularly like the A7X shirt which pax bought and the Alesana shirt which zp bought. Well, that was actually all they bought. Okay, i'm getting real bored now, so i'm gonna post shorter stuff. We went to Hougang Mall after that. Met up with Shernise. Went to Shernises home. Went to eat dinner at Qi Ji restaurant. I ordered set4 meal for the nasi lemak. It was yum yum and not so not nice. Then i went to play soccer with zp. Then some thugs wanted to join us. We then played some competitive soccer! I netted the ball 20sumthings time, thrice in the opponents goal and the rest in my own. I was playing both a keeper and a outfield player. You couldnt really blame me. By the way, i want to be a singer when i grow up! Not any back up singer or uncle singing karaoke. I want to be a professional lead singer of a rock band!

Paxton

2007-09-04T20:43:00.000+08:00

Wow. Paxton's first post. In the morning at roughly 12.01am i was asleep and afraid as i had watched Dead Silence a few days ago. I was afraid that Mary Shaw (the ghost of Dead Silence) would come to slit my tongue off. Luckily she didn't. I then went to play some candystand games which i could not win. So i was damn pissed off so i hit my computer table out of frustration. I then ate my lunch beside the computer and started watching Saw III. It was FUCKING SADISTIC and interesting to watch at the same time. There was a part where the guy had metal rings through his heel, mouth, hands, shoulders and stomach. He had to rip them off before the time bomb went off and he had on a minute and a half! So he ripped the rings off then he bled and screamed like a Brandon being pinched in the nipples. I then went to take a shower after watching the movie but while bathing i was afraid that Mary Shaw might be behind me when i was showering so i kept turning my head. and when the water ran on my face. I was afraid that when i opened my eyes i would see Mary Shaw shitting on my toilet bowl. That was one of my worst showering experience ever.

Brandon's very interestingly boring day

2007-09-04T19:59:00.000+08:00

"Ring ring ring" my alarm clock went... It was 1pm in the afternoon. I went to the toilet to brush my teeth. coupled with some listerine to make my breath fresher so that my granny wouldnt faint when i talked to her. I went to watch a repeated telecast of some champions league game on channel 23 ESPN or StarSports. i cannot rmb. It was a clash between the white white Real Madrid and the nazi nazi Bayern Munich. 5 goals in the first half. haha. Quite interesting as both teams attacked alot. it was 3-1 by the first half, with madrid leading. Then towards the end of a game, bayern scored a consolation goal resulting in 3-2. madrid still winning anyway. The goals were all sweet and cool. I want to be Iker Cassilas(Real Madrid's number 1) when i grow up because i like his side burns. Then i watched the wad Man Vs Wild on discovery channel. It was cool. I wonder wad would i do if i ever get lost in a swamp. I think i would probably just sit on a tree and w8 for help while listening to my mp3. Then i watched somemore soccer on the new soccer channel. Then i got really bored so i went to study my maths. Then there was this really adorably irritatingly young small boy who kept disturbing me. He was my grandmother's friend's grandson. K1 this year. He was bullying me. He was constantly playing with my guitar which i felt was not right as the guitar strings might snap and hurt him, Not because he was fucking noisy and i could not concentrate with my maths. So i lent him a soccer ball to play with which he kept bouncing like a basketball. Then we played soccer in my room! Then i asked him to pass the ball to me then he managed to throw it at my head with much precision. Then i decided to study again. the small boy then told me he had an orange color underwear for no damn reason. It felt totally wierd. After dinner, i decided to get a shower. I made an HUGE MASSIVE BIG discovery: THE TOILET LIGHT WOULDNT TURN ON NO MATTER HOW I CLICKED THE SWITCH. It was already dark then so i had to shower in the dark! i was afraid. very afraid. I closed my eyes to make myself more afraid because it would be darker. The DARKER THE SCARIER! It was really dark inside, couldnt really see much. Then i felt a hand touch my butt! I screamed and grabbed the hand which was touching me but it turned out to be my other hand. Then i came out of the shower and proceeded to post on this blog( with my clothes on of cause).

Brandon

2007-09-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my blog, actually not exactly my blog. Ya you know la. I have to say that the About Us thing is so damn screwed and i would like to head butt the thing and then go" har har har". I cant seem to make it look presentable. So i hope that it'll be alrite.

Okay, i shall talk bout my day now. Just sit back and relax. Enjoy reading the first ever post on Brandons Blog Is Paxton's Blog Which Is Jia Jun's Blog Which Is Owned By Kuan Ee(the gay shit)

I woke up early in the morning at 11.30am today. Then I went to bath. Then i was supposed to be wearing my brown 3/4 pants but i couldnt find it in the wardrobe or washing machine. I was lost and depressed when i couldnt find it. I had no choice but to put up with a pair of jeans and pink shirt.Then i went to Serangoon station to meet up Alvin,Bianca,ChienNie,Edgar and Gerladine. Then we went to Gai Gai at penisular(something like dat la, cant seem to rmb) mall. Then i bought a really cool pair of black Silverstein T-Shirt. Ya, then we walk walk walk until very sian then still walk walk walk until really damn sian. Then we went to eat Burger King. I ordered this set meal which consisted of a burger, some fries and a really small cup of milo. It was like so small that i felt very big drinking it. Then there were lots of pigeon flying around in the burger king. Actually not alot, just 2. Then we went to Bugis Junction followed by Bugis Village. Sian, i know ur getting bored rite? So am i. So i shall stop. bye bye.

By the way, I cant seem to locate the tagboard. Did it fall into the toilet bowl or sumthing? I guess so